So tonight I’m watching FOTR while my parents watch football. I’ve decided to Live Blog it because…well, I feel the need. Make sense? No? Either way, I’m Live Blogging this and you shall not stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I went a little crazy there.
Let’s get started! If only I can remember which remote starts the movie…
Okay, here we go!
Galadriel is speaking in complete darkness…does that give anyone else goosebumps?
The Rings are being forged!
The Men are weird.
One Ring to Rule Them All!
Sauron, you’re so evil.
Here comes a battle scene.
The Last Alliance is marching, marching toward Mordor.
Cue dramatic music!
Elrond’s the only one with no helmet. Why?
AAH! Sauron’s attacking!
Breaking sword…Elendil is dying.
And Isildur saves the day…sort of.
Isildur has the Ring now.
Go destroy it, Mister! But no….you have to be old greedy guts. And now he’s dead.
Whoops…Gollum has it now. Bad plan.
Here comes Bilbo! Picking up that Ring of Power, taking it back to the Shire, no big…or so he thinks.
Frodo’s reading a book. Nice.
Here comes Gandalf on his cart!
Frodo has crazy eyes sometimes.
A Wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
The Shire is beautiful.
Setting up for Billybo’s party.
Fireworks and cute hobbit children!
Goining to Bag-End!!
The Lonely Mountain map!!
The Ring is in his pocket.
Ooh, party time!!
Frodo can’t dance.
Merry and Pippin are in the explosives.
It’s gonna blow!
And it’s gone. And now it’s exploding. That was AWESOME!
Oh you two are hopeless.
He’s vanished! POOF! Crazy old man. Doesn’t know what he’s getting into.
I must admit, it’s a pretty neat Ring.
Bilbo’s so short!! Duh, he’s a hobbit.
He’s about to go creepy. I feel it coming.
Most LOTR fans know what I mean. Here it goes…
He’s getting defensive.
Gandalf is awesome.
Wait, it’s not here yet.
Let it go! Let it go!
The Ring is still in your pocket, child!
He can’t do it. It’s bonded to him.
Now it’s gone. I’m still waiting for the creepy scene…
Wait, that’s not until later. Why am I such a walking spoiler alert?!
There’s that Ring again.
Did it burn Gandalf?
They smoke a lot in this movie.
Yes, he’s gone.
Bag-end is yours, Frodo. AS is the Ring.
Keep it secret, keep it safe.
Is that Isengard or Orthanc? I can never tell until one is destroyed by Ents.
Ringwraiths are on the move!
As is Gandalf.
Was that Minas Tirith?
Researching lots of things now, Gandalf.
I’m really blogging waayy to much about this, but I LOVE LOTR!
Isildur, if you would just destroy it and stop writing, then you would save the world.
The Wraith is asking for directions. Creepy!
Oh, it’s Gandalf. He scared me for a second.
Read the inscriptions!
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!
Wow, subtitles make things easier.
We think he was, at least.
Sauron is not dead, people!
Orcs multiply a LOT. They’re everywhere!
Are Voldy and Sauron related? They’re both called the Dark Lord and are missing body parts. Granted, Sauron’s missing a body, but you see my point.
Here come the wraiths! I hate those things. They’re freaky.
If you give a Wizard a ring, it’ll go crazy.
We’re headed to the Prancing Pony!
No, he won’t! Saruman’s crazy!
Hobbits are cool.
Samwise Gamgee! Stop eavesdropping!
He’s adorable, though.
You must go with the Frodo because it’s dangerous to go alone. Take Sam.
Never put on the Ring. Another of Gandalf’s orders Frodo disobeys.
Merry and Pippin ought to be showing up somewhere in here.
Awkward bromance moment.
AAAAAHH! Here comes a Wraith!
Gandalf’s headed to Isengard. I remember it because Isengard houses an Istari. Two Is stay together.
That was some weird logic.
Don’t trust Saruman! Geez, for a wizard, sometimes you don’t make good decisions.
RIP Christopher Lee.
The Eye of Sauron! It’s cool but creepy.
It’s a palantir! Can’t trust that thing.
The Wraiths are out! Frodo’s destined to die.
Wizard battle time!
Dun dun dun!
Saruman’s a cool villain.
NO WE MUST NOT!
Since he became a servent of Sauron.
This is so awesome. I love wizard duels.
Gandalf, be careful! He has your staff and his! He’s going to drop you, Gandalf!
Uh oh. Here come Merry and Pippin out of the cornfield.
Don’t you lose him, Samwise Gamgee.
Tackled by Hobbits.
Merry and Pippin are adorable!
Drop the food and run! Pip, you’re not helping.
Tumbling down a cliff.
He broke something. A carrot.
I love Merry and Pippin!
They found more food. Like that’s what we need right now.
Here comes a Wraith!
GET OFF THE ROAD!!
Hush, hobbits. The Black Rider is above you.
It’s looking at you…and there are bugs everywhere. I hate this scene.
Don’t put it on, Frodo! Thank you, Merry. Make yourself useful.
They’re riding everywhere, those creatures are. Run for your lives, hobbitses!
Frodo’s headed to Bree. Buckleberry Ferry!
There’s the Ferry. It’s rather run down. Frodo’s really slow. He can jump pretty far, though.
20 miles on a boat. That’ll be a long night. Now it’s raining. Nice.
Poor, wet, hobbits. They’re also short.
There’s the Prancing Pony! Sketchy place, if you ask me.
Anyone else think Dumbledore looks like Gandalf?
Pints? They come in pints? I’m getting one!
Pip’s going to end up drunk.
Strieder is here.. They just don’t know it yet.
Rangers are cool, thank you.
So I’m blogging with a cat on my chest. Complicated.
The Prancing Pony’s weird.
Pippin, you’re blowing things. He’s a blabbermouth.
Frodo put on the Ring. Bad choice.
It talks now. Actually, that’s Sauron talking. Creepy.
There’s Strider the Cool.
Don’t be afraid, Frodo. Strider’s awesome.
Aww, hobbits are threatening Strider.
Wraiths are running everywhere. I know what’s coming, and I HATE this part.
Can’t watch. Too creepy. Wraiths stabbing things.
Can’t trust Men with Rings of Power.
Strider is so so so cool. Merry, he’s not that creepy. Yay! Headed to Rivendell!
Second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper. All he gets is an apple.
Sauron is talking to Saruman. Whoa, creepy Orcs.
Falling trees. Those come into play later.
Gandalf is stuck at the top of a tower in Isengard.
Well duh! Those are some old trees. Of course they’re strong!
Amon Sul was destroyed by something. No clue what. Ooh, swords for Hobbits! Sweet deal.
Ooh, bacon! They’re cooking. LOL Pippin’s only concerned about his tomatoes.
Here comes one of the parts I hate.
Wraiths are coming. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The battle begins…
This is creepy. Nine against four. Not good odds. Now it’s nine to one. Don’t put on that Ring!
Uh oh. Now he can see the spirits. Creepy. Really creepy.
It stabbed him! I hate that creature.
And then Strider saves the day!
Awkward bro moment.
Strider is so awesome at this.
Ooh, he lit it on FIRE!
Frodo’s spazzing. Stupid Morgul Blade.
Elvish medicine is needed. Hold on to life, small person!
More dramatic music.
It’s a factory for making Orcs!
There’s a little moth! It’s so cute and coming to help Gandalf!
There it goes with a messagge from the Gray Pilgrim.
More falling trees.
An Orc is being born in this factory of weird. I don’t want to know how this works.
It’s coming out of the mud! Weird orc. It’s ready to kill.
Frodo’s not doing too well. No! Frodo, you cannot become a wraith!
Athelas! Kingsfoil! That played a nice part in The Hobbit, if you’ve seen that.
Arwen’s here! She’s so awesome. Everyone here is awesome.
She’s so pretty! I want to be an Elf.
Elvish that I don’t speak. Thankfully there are subtitles.
Sam’s impressed by the fact that she’s an Elf.
She is a faster rider, Strider. And Pip’s confused.
She’s out of here! Onward, Asfaloth!
Sam’s angry with Strider.
Wraiths on your tail, Arwen! That’s a fast horse.
A branch whacked her face.
Water horses are on their way!
Arwen’s getting angry…
Random Elvish that I don’t speak.
Here go the water horses! It’s not in the book, but it’s cool.
Frodo’s not doing well.
Don’t you die on us, Frodo!
Arwen’s saving him.
He’s in Rivendell, with Gandalf!
He lucked out.
Now his shoulder hurts.
Saruman’s angry. This is a problem.
Sauron doesn’t share power.
Here comes an Eagle of Coolness!
Gwaihir is genius.
Here comes Samwise Gamgee!
Elrond is a great healer. And Rivendell is awesome.
Can I move there?
Merry and Pippin! They’re my favorite hobbits!
Bilbo is here too!
He wrote a whole book in fancy words.
Mirkwood is my favorite place in Middle-earth.
It’s the best addventure ever, Frodo.
Sam’s packing still.
You can’t go home! There’s two more movies to go through! But if you leave it in Rivendell, Sauron will still reign!
Why is it fixed on Rivendell? I have no clue.
An Army of Orcs. Uruk-hai.
Elves are awesome though, Elrond!
The Ring cannot stay in Rivendell.
Ooh, more peope are coming! Including Elf-boy that everyone loves. Not me though.
Men are not weak!
Just Isildur. He was pathetic.
Destroy it, ya doofus!
Geez Elrond, why didn’t you just destroy it and be done with it.
Isildur looks like Sirius.
But what about Strider? He’s cool.
He’s just sort of here, it seems.
Here comes another person.
Ah, Boromir! Don’t touch the shards of Narsil. It’s still sharp.
Whoop, he didn’t listen. Now he’s bleeding.
Strider’s just reading and judging Boromir.
It’s a beautiful weapon.
Here comes Arwen. Random moment of Arwenagorn.
No, you’re cooler than Isildur!
Arwen is so cool.
Whoop, more random romance that doesn’t really advance the plot at all.
They’re speaking Elvish. Now they’re not.
I ship those two so hard.
The Evenstar necklace!
She’s going to become mortal.
The Council of Elrond!
The Ring must be at the place of honor.
Boromir’s hopeless. He’s all rambly about Gondor.
No one wields the Ring but Sauron.
Elf-boy knows Aragorn’s identity.
Yes, that’s Isildur’s heir.
Legolas, take a seat.
Aragorn’s better than Denethor. See ROTK for details.
Yes, we must destroy it.
Gimli, that don’t work. You just broke your axe.
Take it to Mordor.
Elrond’s getting angry.
One does not simply walk into Mordor.
I know you’ve seen that meme.
Legolas is getting irritated. So is Gimli. Everyone is really.
Lots of arguing.
Frodo interrupts them and he takes the Ring. Nice going.
Gandalf isn’t angry anymore.
Everyone appreciates that.
Aragorn’s so cool.
Everyone is awesome really.
Boromir, you offer us nothing.
Hello, hobbity friends!
Merry and Pippin!
Oh Pip, you’re hopeless. You aren’t the needed intelligence.
Fellowship of the Ring.
Sting! That’s my Minecraft sword. Wait, I’m going off topic.
Mithril vest! That thing is a life saver.
Uh oh. Bilbo’s about to need a Snickers bar.
He went a little nuts. He wants the Ring back.
I love hobbits.
So majestic right here. There’s Bill the pony!
That’s a lot of walking. Boromir’s training the hobbits.
Oh dear. Going to Moria, are we?
LOL Boromir got tackled by hobbits.
Angry birds. Literally.
The Pass of Caradhras is a bad idea. Always.
The Ring has fallen! Frodo, go get it!
There’s a meme for that too.
Memes for everything.
We’re in Isengard again now, following a mob of angry birds.
They shall go to Moria!
A fell voice! Saruman is coming. Run.
Aragorn’s not appreciating this.
Neither is Gandalf.
Going through Moria! It’s a creepy place.
Durin’s Bane lives there.
Minas Tirith or Moria?
Ugh, bad choice.
Don’t step in the water. Or throw things in it.
Moonlight door! Speak, Friend, and Enter.
Oh Bill. You must not leave us! He’s such a sweet pony.
Do not disturb the water!
Here comes the Watcher. Giant squiddy thing.
Legolas is useless when it comes to Elvish.
Boromir is right. It’s a tomb.
Balin has died. We’re sorry, Gimli.
The squid grabbed Frodo! Whoa, that thing’s creepy.
Legolas shot it. Now, get in that cave!
We’re going through Moria.
FOUR DAYS? That’s a long time in a mine.
This is a creepy place.
Gandalf has no memory of Moria.
Pip, be quiet. Of course you’re hungry.
Gollum is following you.
I hate Gollum.
Wise words of Gandalf. Again.
Frodo doesn’t want the Ring anymore.
More wise words.
What if he doesn’t want it though?
Follow your shnozz!
I know what’s coming…I have seen this twice. I just remember a LOT about it.
The tomb of Balin.
Ori died in mORIa. Coincidence? I think not. Also, Moria is supposed to be capitalized, but it’s a stylized thing right there.
Ooh, a book by Ori! He’s cool.
We cannot linger, Gandalf!
Be afraid of loud, pounding drums. Goblins are coming. This is getting creepier by the second.
Pippin dropped a bunch of things down a well.
Fool of a Took!
He’s not stupid, Gandalf! He’s just a…Pippin.
Uh oh. The drums! Orcs are coming! We’re all going to die.
There’s a cave-troll. Why are you so calm about that, Boromir?
Get ready! They’re coming…
Whoop. They’re here.
The Fellowship’s kicking some Orc butt!
There’s the troll. Nice hit, Legolas!
Sam, was that a frying pan?
Whoa, it’s not dead. Dagnab that troll.
It’s out to kill us all.
It’s got Frodo!
Whoa, Araggorn stabbed it and Pippin hit it witha rock.
Frodo got stabbed. Again.
Merry and Pippin just went crazy! They’re taking things down, man!
Dang it. The troll threw them down. Whoa. Pippin killed it.
Frodo? You okay buddy? He’s alive. Thank the Lord for mithril.
To the bridge of Khazad-dum!
Are those skeletons???
Nope. They’re just creepy critters.
Orcs, to be exact.
A light comes down the hall. This is going to end badly for some…
It’s a Balrog.
Can’t toss this. Gimli won’t allow it.
Here it comes….One of the most famous LOTR lines in the world…
You shall not pass!
Fly, you fools.
Extreme Frodo screaming.
This is such a sad scene. I miss Mithrandir already.
Pip and Merry are spaz-crying.
They’re all sad. Even Legolas.
To Lothlorien we go.
Frodo wants to go home.
Aragorn’s running every which way.
Galadriel is going to be here soon, here to be strange.
She’s getting in Frodo’s mind.
Whoa. Lots of Lorien Elves. With Gimli’s loud breathing.
This is such a pretty place.
Galadriel and Celeborn!
A Balrog of Morgoth.
That’s a metaphor for something.
Boromir is crying. No clue why.
I want to move to Lorien.
Galadriel is crazy.
Legolas got a new outfit. Someone’s singing in Elvish.
She’s getting in people’s brains.
Denethor is not a noble man except in his actor’s last name. John Noble.
No, he hasn’t.
Minas Tirith is awesome.
Galadriel is coming. And Frodo goes to her.
Ooh, the Mirror of Galadriel!
Don’t do it. No, he won’t look.
Ugh, Frodo, listen to me!
Uh oh, It’s getting creepy.
I ain’t ever looking in there.
Whoa. He fell backwards.
Don’t fail, Frodo!
The Fellowship shall not break! I know that it does, buut I wish that it wouldn’t.
Uh oh. She’s going demonic.
She’s cracked. There she goes.
That was not what I needed before I go to bed.
This is your job, Frodo.
I know you’re scared. Just do it.
Uh oh. Saruman and his Orcy friends.
They’re creepy. Uruk-hai. They have the white hand upon their faces.
The Fellowship is hunted now. Great plan.
Don’t kill the halflings!
Boats for the Fellowship of the Ring!
Earendil! It’s a lovely star.
Here come the Uruks.
Traveling down the river we go.
Ooh, statues of kings!
Hobbits are cute.
Still in boats.
Ah, now we’ve landed.
Boromir’s not okay.
Gimli’s so awesome.
Legolas is going a bit crazy.
Frodo’s just wandering around.
This won’t end well for anyone.
He doesn’t need your help, Boromir!
I don’t think this’ll end well.
Frodo has a point.
No, the hobbit can do it.
Boromir’s going completely insane.
He won’t take the Ring to Sauron. I need to smack that man.
What have you done?
What is happeing? This is SO creepy.
Sauron sees you…
Okay, he’s done now.
The Ring took Boromir.
Aragorn will not be taken over by that Ring.
He’s too cool for that.
The Fellowship is pretty much broken now.
Frodo must go alone.
Here come the Orcs.
Even Lurtz. I hate that one.
Sam wants Frodo back.
Legolas and Gimli are here.
Merry and Pippin are here! What is Frodo doing?
Frodo, don’t leave them!
Merry, Pippin, NO! Don’t you dare do that! Run for your lives!
Aragorn is doing awesome stuff.
Boromir saves the day!
The horn of Gondor!
Boromir needs help!
Run little hobbits!
Uh oh. The first arrow has hit Boromir.
This can’t end well, but he still fights on.
Another one hits him, and he has fallen. Not dead yet though!
He gets back up and fights on! Go Boromir!
NO! No one can survive three arrows! Whoa, no,no! Stupid Uruk-hai, taking Merry and Pip.
Lurtz, really? Whoo, there’s Aragorn, killing that stupid Orc!
Epic swordfight. Lurtz is dead.
Boromir is dying.
NO! You’ve redeemed yourself, don’t you dare die, Boromir! No! You can’t do this! Stay with me, Boromir! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Legolas and Gimli, really? You’re a bit late.
He gone. Boromir is dead.
Is it just me, or does that death get sadder the more times you watch it?
Frodo, you can’t go alone!
Here comes Sammy-boy!
I know you do, Frodo. It’s okay, though. You’ll be okay.
He doesn’t know Boromir died…not going to be the one to tell him.
Here comes Sam. You can’t swim, Sam!
He’s going to drown if you don’t do something.
There we go. Sam is okay now!
He’s soaking wet, but he’s okay.
Setting off to Mordor!
Sending Boromir down a waterfall…nice.
Time to go reclaim Merry and Pippin from those Uruk-hai.
The Fellowship has NOT failed! Go save the other halflings!
Let’s go, people!
I hope you had fun watching me fail to live blog FOTR. I’ll be back probably next week with TTT, and then with ROTK. Let me know if there are any spelling errors or things like that. Well, bye for now!