So, I’m going to do sort of a thing with really weird fan theories from all fandoms. Here goes nothing.
Theory: Tom Bombadil was the Witch-King of Angmar.
Explanation: In a nutshell, it says: You never see the two of them together.
Tom says “…I was waiting for you. We heard news of you, and learned that you were wandering…But Tom had an errand there that he dare not hinder.” Apparently this is supposed to show fear of Sauron.
The full theory is here: Tom Bombadil is the Witch-King
Why it’s stupid: First things first, Tom’s seems like a nice enough guy, if not a bit of a stalker. Second of all, this just doesn’t add up. Wouldn’t Goldberry have said something? Or if Frodo put the Ring on, wouldn’t he have seen Tom’s true identity?
Okay, new theory!
Theory: Tolkien was a member of the Illuminati.
Explanation: This one’s a weird one. Apparenly, rings are used to control people by the Illuminati. And bloodlines are also supposed to be important to the Illuminati. It doesn’t even make sense to me!
Here’s the full theory. Let me know if you figure it out. Tolkien and the Illuminati
Why it’s stupid: Mmk, so bloodlines are in every royalty story. So would I be working for the Illuminati in that case? And so what if the Illuminati uses rings to control people? What if they stole the idea from Tolkien? Think about that, HUH!
New theory time!
Theory: Dumbledore and Grindelwald are the Blue Istari.
Explanation: This one probably makes the most sense so far. But apparently the Blue Wizards went into the east and were never heard from. They also say that Nurmengard is a mix between Nuremberg and Isengard. This one’s kind of a weird one.
Why it’s stupid: First off, GRINDELWALD WAS EVIL! Secondly, this just, again, doesn’t add up. Dumbledore killed Grindelwald. Why would he kill his fellow Istari? Dumbledore wasn’t evil. I can’t even make sense of this.
Next theory, please!
Okay, I can’t make sense from any others, so we’re moving on to a new fandom.
Theory: Ron is Time Traveling Dumbledore.
Explanation: In the chess game, Ron is a knight and a king. Evidently, this is foreshadowing the roles in the Second Wizarding War. There’s also the socks thing stemming from Ron’s ingratitude toward maroon sweaters. Here’s the link, because I can’t muddle through this. Knight To King Theory
Why it’s stupid: Well, this doesn’t make sense. If Ron was Dumbledore, then how could they interact without a paradox forming? It just doesn’t make sense. Any of it. It’s just a stupid theory. AND JKR HERSELF SAID IT WASN’T TRUE!
Tune in later for part 2, if I can deal with more ridculous theories. My eyes are bleeding.