At long last…Leese live blogs TTT! And I’m blogging from my new Teen Cave place area thingy.
Ooh, snazzy snowy mountains. Me love!!
So dramatic! So snowy! Leese wanna go!
Not to mention the Fab music.
NONONONONO NOT AGAIN!
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
DON’T DO IT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
ACK NO NOT THE WHIP NOT THE WHIP OF DOOM!
DRAMATIC BOROMIR HAIR WHIP
FLY YOU FOOLS.
Shmancy fighting montage
This is so dramatic…I love it.
Get rekt Balrog
This is a vortex o flame
STAB IM! STAB IM!
That’s some swaggy music
Frodo has some nightmares.
Sam is concerned.
IT IS NOT NOTHING FRODO
IT IS NOT JUST A DREAM
The Two Towers
Yes, we’re lost, Sam.
This is deep.
THE EYE IS WATCHING YOU
Yes, it’s the Ring. We need to dunk that in a volcano.
Lembas, Lembas, and more Lembas.
Nom nom nom.
I wanna eat it.
WE’RE GOING IN CIRCLES
Nope. Y’all ain’t alone.
No Gollum. Nonononono. Stealing is bad.
GO SAM! DESTROY HIM BOI!
Gollum, quit it. That be creepy.
DO NOT HURT SAMWISE GAMGEE
Yes, Frodo, kill him now.
Whoa… that was dramatic.
Just cut it anyway.
Quit your whining, Gollum.
Insert Gandalf quote here
Gollum, we shall not pity you.
Can we record that, Frodo? “There’s no promise you can make that I can trust.”
You don’t have the Precious. You cannot swear on it.
Thank you, Sam.
He probably will throttle you.
Yes, he does, but he will do bad things.
He has, but doesn’t want to speak of it.
Intense rock climbing.
YAS THE THREE HUNTERS/ MERRY AND PIPPIN
PIPPIN MY SMOL BEAN
Yes, they’ve been on your trail.
Good plan, Pip.
Aragorn knows things.
Gimli is me…i don’t run.
That is such gorgeous scenery…
THEY FOUND THE LEAF NO NO NO THAT MAKES ME CRY
YES LEGOLAS BE POSITIVE
Gimli is me
I’m not a natural sprinter but ya know.
I want to live in Middle-earth.
Aragorn and his monologue.
THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD
Oh, not you.
*sobs bc of Christopher Lee*
UNION OF THE TWO TOWERS
YOU SHALL NOT RULE
There’s that darn Eye again…
DON’T HURT THE TREESS
It will not burn…not yet at least…
Gosh this makes me sad and it’s so deep too…
No, don’t corrupt those poor humans
THIS MAKES ME SAD
Freda, you must go. They’ll get you otherwise.
I’m gonna cry now.
RUN YOU CHILDREN! DON’T DIE IN THE WRECKAGE!
Nonono don’t die on us Theodred!
He’s very badly wounded.
LISTEN TO YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW
GRIMA SHUT THE CRAP UP
Eomer is awesome
Eowyn, that death glare was fab.
SHUT UP GRIMA
YAS EOMER YOU KNOW THINGS
YAS GIRL SLAYYY
Eomer is classy protective brother
GRIMA SHUT UP
DON’T DO THAT
Gimli is lagging behind a lot
Keep breathing, that’s the key.
HE SLOWED DOWN FOR THE CAMERA LOL
Gimli you are my spirit animal
Do not abuse Merry and Pippin! Rude!
Pippin is literally me…my friends call me Pippin…
DON’T CUT DOWN THE TREES
YOU’VE HURT THEM
Merry knows what’s up
This is so amazing
Merry gets this
THREE STINKING DAYS
Because the only meat is the Hobbits
NO EATING ME AND MY BESTIE
THEY DO TOO
THEY DO NOT
THE RIDERS OF ROHANNNN!!
DESTROY them all, Riders!
Kick him, Pip!
That sound was not human.
Ooh, get rekt.
OHH I HATE THIS PART (I STILL LOVE IT BUT YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN)
Ima do that tomorrow morning if the sun is red.
THIS SCENE IS AMAZING
Dramatic much, Aragorn?
WHAT NEWS FROM THE MARK?
I’m going to die…if I were in Middle-earth I’d want to be a Rider of Rohan…
Eomer is awesome.
This exchange is my favorite thing on the planet. This is why i love TTT.
YOU WOULD DIE BEFORE YOUR STROKE FELL
Possibly RIP Legolas
Not gonna talk about Thranduil. Good.
Oh, that’s depressing.
EOMOER KNOWS WHAT’S UP
Yep, he’s cunning alright.
You assuming that the Hunters are spies?
Aww they’re so concerned for Merry and Pippin
The defeat in their eyes makes me so sad…
Eomer has so many deep quotes.
Aragorn is like “ooh horsey!”
Ride! Ride! Ride!
that probably smells nice.
Gimli’s smart. Use the tabar to pick through it.
Legit screams of pain
Their bonds were cut
This is so well organized
I love this part of the movie.
THEY CAN FIT UNDERNEATH A HORSE WHOA
How 3 anger an orc
Gimli is suspicious of the forest.
That’s a sketchy forest when you first se it.
This part gives me legit shivers
HE IS NOT GONE
DEFINITELY NOT GONE
Pippin is disturbed by Treebeard
No, don’t run Merry!
I am no tree!
Yes, Merry, a treehearder.
DON’T TALK TO IT MERRY!
Yes talk to it Merry.
I love that line.
I CARE FOR THE WOODS!
IT’S NOT ORC MISCHIEF
That sounds terrible, especially if you’re also a tree.
White Wizard! Oh no!
Aagh no bad place to switch perspectives no no no!
Yes, Sam, it’s a bog. And a nasty one at that
AAGH THIS PLACE SCARES THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME
I can’t watch
I can’t watch
I can’t watch
Even the looks of it are scary
DON’T LOOK AT THEM SAM
It’s giving me shivers.
The Dead Marshes…
Never follow the lights.
That’s pretty grim there, Gollum.
YOU’RE MAKING BAD CHOICES
NO NO NO
THIS IS A BIG PILE OF NOPE
NOPITY NOPE NOPE NOPE
THIS SCARES ME
THANK YOU GOLLUM
YOU MADE ME NOT FREAK OUT
He is not okay
Frodo that’s a lil scary
Don’t pet the Ring.
Not as creepy as Gollum.
MUSTN’T ASK US
He was a Hobbit
That was your name once, wasn’t it?
A long time ago.
Aww…this makes me pity Gollum.
NOT THE BLACK RIDERS!
That’s freaky as crap.
They can’t die, Sam.
AND THEY’VE GOT FELLBEASTS NOW GREAT
WRAITHS ON WINGS
*high pitched squealing* Is it from Leese or the movie? Who knows.
Is it gone? Please be gone!
HURRY BEFORE THEY COME BACK AND SCARE THE BEJEEZIES OUT OF ME!
And now the Hunters have gone into Fangorn.
They’re Treebeard tracks.
Older than you, Legolas?
Legolas looks scared.
Gimli violence is bad.
They’re all readying their weapon.
Ooh, that worked…NOT.
That is one awesome voice modification.
It can too be.
Gandalf looks so happy.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Did he go meet the Doctor?
So being given life makes you choke on air? Cool. Sign me up.
I adore this movie.
SHADOWFAX! AWESOME WHISTLING!
That’s so majestic.
The Lord of all Horses
Can all Istari summon Shadowfax?
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The Black Gates are a scary place.
That is one weird sounding horn. I wanna play it. Maybe it’s a flugelhorn.
*dramatically rolls down hill like Sam*
Hide him, fast!
Those guys have some snazzy weapons.
TAKE IT TO HIM! Well, to Mordor, but you know what I mean. That came out wrong.
A secret pathway with a giant spider.
I THOUGHT THAT YOU COULDN’T TRUST ANY PROMISE GOLLUM MADE!
Listen to Sam. Sam knows things.
Frodo, quit bossing.
That death glare though.
Awesome music, yet again.
EDORAS MORE LIKE EDORYAS!
Why must Eowyn be the bringer of bad news?
Unfortunately he will not.
You will be welcomed eventually.
Eowyn no don’t cry!
GRIMA GO AWAY YOU SCARE ME!
SHUT UP BOI
DO NOT PET HER!
STOP PETTING HER
Or roast him. Either one.
That is such a gorgeous image.
DON’T BE SAD
There goes the symbolic flag.
Edoras is so pretty.
I wanna horse.
Aragorn don’t cheat on Roch.
It’s the guy whose name escapes me! Ya know, that red haired guy!
You would not part an old man from his walking stick.
I love how he leans on Legolas right here.
And he’s disguised as Gandalf the Gray.
Stormcrow! That’s my favorite name for him.
Ill news is an ill guest.
Be free, Theoden!
You have no power here, Gandalf the Gray.
Eowyn, we promise that he’s helping.
That was well orchestrated.
THEODEN! MY FAVORITE KING! (BESIDES ARAGORN!)
Give him the sword! Yas!
I love the horse heads on the hilt. They look so great.
Eowyn is so happy.
The look of wonder in his eyes is priceless.
YAS GET REKT GRIMA
I vote to kill him.
Aragorn quit it.
Bow to him!
That makes me so sad.
Preach it, Theoden.
NO DON’T MAKE ME SAD
Eowyn is caring for the Children.
No, don’t make me sad, Small one!
Go get the Riders.
Eomer can too help us.
Aragorn, don’t tick him off.
Gimli, nice job ruining the moment.
Bad idea. Even though Helm’s Deep is my second favorite battle.
I want a Shadowfax.
First light on the fifth day. Got it.
Oh, this scene is awkward for us Farawyn shippers.
Some skill? Honey, she’s got TONS of skill.
That’s so deep.
Shieldmaidens do not give up.
It’s so gloomy.
GRIMA QUIT IT
Only a heartless turd would attack right now. But Saruman is a heartless turd so…
Gollum you are so clumsy.
Sam is right about Gollum.
He can’t. Save yourself the effort.
FRODO NO! NO SNAPPY SNAPPY!
Both of you apologize. Naow.
Wicked! Tricksy! False!
This scene is very well orchestrated as well.
This reminds me of the war with the voice in my head sometimes. You know, that voice called anxiety? Yeah. That one.
Master is ditching his best friend for you. You’d better be grateful.
LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
I love that scene.
That was one fab dance.
What was that sound?
Stupid fat hobbit!
It’s still food.
Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
Gollum’s so salty.
Faramir no capture is bad.
THE DWARF WOMEN YAY!
Eowyn is so great. She laughs at Gimli’s stories.
She’s got a huge crush on Aragorn though and Roch doens’t appreciate it.
Too bad bc Roch already has Aragorn’s heart.
ROCH I CAN’T FIX IT YOU TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND
I hope I don’t pause it somewhere awkward this time.
These are deep movies.
Roch fix it
Eowyn is literally me when I try to talk to my crush.
Aragorn shall not let her leave (even though he needs to go marry Roch)
Yikesky this is getting bad for Aragorn.
The horse is displeased.
They look better in TH but I prefer the ones in LotR.
I prefer everything in LotR.
Heartless turd Saruman strikes again.
Shoot something Legolas!
She can too!
You’re being presumptuous, Theoden.
Eowyn, don’t worry about Aragorn. You belong with Faramir.
Dramatic horse vault
Are you salty, Gimli?
He’s the salt king.
Aragorn DESTROY them.
He doesn’t lie.
HE HAS THE EVENSTAR THAT’S BAD
Oop here comes hallucination.
Pay those respects.
They made it to Helm’s Deep! Yay!
Eowyn is stil sad she couldn’t fight.
I love the music for this.
THEY FOUND THEIR PARENTS
A lot of people died.
Aragorn took a lil tumble off a cliff
He gon be okay.
Don’t you be worrying.
It’s okay Eowyn you’ll meet Faramir
And there we have that lil gutter that poses a big problem
They need to get rekt.
THE LAND WILL BE STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF ROHAN!
That was intense.
They’d better all be in step.
Pippin is so small and innocent and must be protected.
Merry is shocked by everything
As is Pippin now that he sees it
The war has ben started.
Aragorn’s body! Do they not see it?
Arwen, don’t die. Dying is bad.
He looks very dead.
YAS HASUFEL (IS THAT EVEN HASUFEL? I CAN NEVER FIGURE OUT IF IT’S HIM OR BREGO)
Brego is a good faithful horse.
There’s that drama shot of Arwen again.
Yeah, Elrond. She made her choice.
He is too coming back.
There is still hope.
We all have to taste that, Elrond.
Aragorn looks so weird with that age-thingymajigger.
Yeah, but can’t she die of grief?
There are things for her here, and death is probably one of them.
Yeah, shouldn’t Elrond be more important than your boyfriend?
Oh, here comes the dramatic scene.
At least I think this is the one I’m thinking of.
Whatever. Still dramatic.
Elrond is not pleased for whatever reason.
Oh dear. Galadriel. She confuses me.
Isengard will kill us all.
The Eye is angry.
DO NOT TURN TO GONDOR! YOU ALREADY KILLED MY FAVORITE PLACE!
The quest will claim his life…
Elrond and his foresight are great.
Why does the Ring want Men?
But Faramir doesn’t want the Ring. Does he?
That would be bad.
Elves no! Stay!
What news from the Mark! Wait, wrong country/city/thing.
Go. Go save Osgiliath.
Gondor needs some help.
Why would they be Orc spies?
Frodo, we all know that’s a load of crap. Gollum was too there.
Faramir has been triggered by the name Boromir.
Ooh, he’s angry.
Yep, brotherly love.
Dark brooding looks.
Whisper whisper whisper whisper
That’s suspicious. I forget how suspicious Faramir was in the beginning.
Gollum, get out of the Forbidden Pool.
Y’all can just kill ‘im.
UGH THAT SONG DISTURBS ME!
Quit banging the fishy on a rock.
Smeagol, go with master.
He looks like a confused puppy.
KILL HIM PLEASE!
As you can see, I am sick and tired of Gollum.
Is he okay?
Faramir is just like “What the crap”
This is whacked out.
Is he petting himself?
Sam, quit encouraging him to use the Ring.
Sam is usually right.
You should be sorry. Listen to your best friend.
Yes, he will. It took you too long to realize that.
Faramir, quit it.
Faramir, quit it. This is what got Boromir into a world of hurt.
Why does he suddenly look drunk?
Faramir’s just like, “Oh crap.”
Sam is a good friend.
The mountain of fire. Ominous.
Please help him.
The Ring will not go to Gondor. This is exactly what got Boromir killed.
They’d better be in step. Otherwise I’m gonna be angry.
Something something Brego. That’s all I caught of that sentence.
Gimli, don’t rage.
Bless you, laddie.
You look terrible. I look fabulous.
Eowyn is happy to see him.
She returned the Evenstar to him. Good person.
BUT GO FIND FARAMIR AKA THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
I’M JUST LOOKIN OUT FOR YA HERE GIRLIE
10,000 is a lot.
To destroy the world of Men.
Oh dear. You’re gonna regret that.
What a gorgeous view. I want to go to New Zealand.
But they know about the magical gutter o’doom.
You sure there, buddy?
Yes, but lives cannot be regained.
Gimli looks angry.
You will be remembered.
Everyone will come.
Probably Elves…just saying B)
They were gone…
Into the caves!
Ooh, Entmoot time.
Tis a gathering.
Here come a whole ton of Ents
Beech. Oak. Chestnut. Ash. Good. Good. Good.
That’s a lotta Ents.
Go to war! Go to war!
Merry has the same thoughts I do.
This is emotional.
At least there’s no man dressed like a woman here…*cough cough* Alfrid
They can be soldiers.
Legolas, you’ve seen about a thousand winters. Just shut up about having seen too few winters.
They can win this fight.
ARAGORN WE WERE USING ELVISH FOR A REASON
Theoden is being dark and broody again.
Who am I, Gamling? You should know.
Theoden is so confused.
THE OUTER WALL!
Aragorn, that is not a nice place to sit.
That little boy seems too young to fight.
You will live, Haleth, son of Hama.
Would girls introduce themselves as _______, daughter of ________? Or is that just for men?
There is always hope.
That’s a lotta weapons.
Legolas is disapproving glaring.
Is that an apology I hear?
Gimli is awesome.
That horn sounds ridiculous.
Oh, it was an Elven horn. Sorry Elves.
Elrond sent you? Noice.
Rekindle the alliance!
Awkward bro hug.
How many takes do you think that took to get right?
Gimli is so awesome, especially in this scene.
Quit being a pessimist.
They’re just like “Oh great. Rain.”
Left right left right.
Women and children are scared.
Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?
That would be terrifying.
I wouldn’t last a day in Middle-earth.
So it begins.
^^Me on Monday
This is crazy awesome.
Gimli wants to truck someone and he doesn’t care who.
Bum bum bummmm bum bum bum.
^^an attempt to sing the song
Was that a Wilhelm Scream?
That’s how my friends feel when I’m doing schoolwork. “Anna! I’m on number 2 already!” “Nice. I’m on 17.”
Slightly less intense…or should I say ENTense! Eyyyyyyyy.
Pippin. Why do you look ticked off.
Pippin is great.
Treebeard, I think you’re missing the point.
That’s actually good life advice.
I love that little shell they made.
Bring him down, Legolas!
Oh, that worked.
RIP anyone on that bridge.
Splishy splashy in the water .
I don’t think the gate can be braced any more.
LEGOLAS SURFS ON A SHIELD
Merry is about to slap a…person.
I don’t think he knows the way back home.
The Shire is great…
That’s a deep quote.
Oh no, they’ve threatened Pip’s home.
I want to hear a violin cover of this.
To the Keep!
That’s so dramatic.
Aragorn is depressed.
Push through that crowd!
A long time would be good.
Yep, bracing gates is good.
You’ll have to toss me.
Don’t tell the Elf.
Not a word.
Aragorn just kinda hurdled it.
Keep that gate safe!
Handy dandy Legolas.
Pull im up!
No! That’s like admitting defeat!
NO YOU HAVE TO GO TO ISENGARD!
That’s some weird logic. “The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm.”
I’m going to live by tht now.
Pippin has a dangerous plan.
Let him go! Let him go!
Faramir, don’t be cruel and heartless.
Uh oh. Rage time.
He’s out of words.
Pip, was this your plan?
Everyone is going to their doom.
Last March of the Ents. I like that.
Oop, that’s bad.
He’s not okay.
AGH NO DON’T
ANYONE BUT DENETHOR.
Sam is raging.
Frodo looks murderous.
Dude, that’s wraithist.
Everybody run! Everybody hide! They’re comin and they’re killin everybody in sight.
Y’all needed a better hiding space.
Yes, there’s a lot of death. Your point?
ah, Gandalf should be coming.
The Horn of Helm Hammerhand..shall sound in the Deep…one last time!
Whoa. There’s the Riders of Rohan.
There’s more of them than I thought..
Chuck that stone! You go, Ent!
Chuck it, Treebeard!
You forget that Hobbits have a knack for throwing stones.
Spew water everywhere!
Don’t get swept away!
The great river.
Common sense, Frodo.
DON’T SHOW IT THE RING YOU IDJIT!
Nope. Because that all came from the movie.
Ther’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.
Gollum is touched.
Yay Faramir’s letting them go free!
I love Faramir.
The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin.
Of course you will, Sam.
Sam is amazing.
Samwise the Brave.
Oh no no no.
Wicked. Tricksy. False.
Don’t kill them!
Okay, that’s violent.
Talk some sense into yourself.
She could do it.